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User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/Ghostface vs Leatherface Remastered - Epic Rap Battles of Horror Season 1
Garrosh Hellscream vs Adolf Hitler Michael Myers vs Jason Voorhees ^^^good shit right there It's time for yet another rap battle. You may notice I don't have title cards for this one- I think I'm going to stop with those. They take a long time to make and don't look very good, so I figure I'll just leave them off. Anyways, today it's the battle of the psycho killers- Leatherface, from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Ghostface, from the Scream movies, go against each other in a Face off. You may now proceed to read the battle and forget you ever heard that pun. Anyways, this suggestion comes from quite a few people, the most noteable of them being BackToTheFuturama, who I am way too lazy to tag right now. Hello everyone, and welcome back to Epic Rap Battles of Horror Season 1 Remasters. This battle really fuckin needed a remaster like hoooly shit the original was awful. These two characters in particular are probably the two most famous slashers following Freddy & Jason, who we saw last time. Anyways, first things first, HUGE shout-out to TKandMit for writing eighty percent of Ghostface's lines and basically writing one of Leatherface's lines, as well as letting me use his Ghostface title card since mine sucked donkey dick. You can tell which ones are his because they're good and mine aren't. Anyways, here's the battle. Hope you enjoy, let me know what you think. Here's the link to the original if you for some reason want to suffer through that again. Here's the obligatory "the original was better!!!!!" joke so that you don't have to make it. Here's the battle! Cast: EpicMealTime as Leatherface Nice Peter as Ghostface EpicLLOYD as ??? Beat: Introduction: Announcer: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR! You’re as stupid as your schemes if you’re... ...just call me the last thing they ever see! VS! The night is right, this punk is dead... ...'Cause I just took down this looney, and I bet now... BEGIN! The Battle: Leatherface: The bigger and badder battler is after this box office disaster, You’re Sweet’r than Apples, yet want to grapple on MY MassAcres? I'll serve you as a rapper, and then I’ll serve you on a platter! So you can step to my plate when I step to the plate; Mortal Kom-Batter! I’ll leave your brains squashed on my chainsaw if you want to face off, So no brave talk from the fame hog, or he’ll end up with his face off! Hear that, you floppy freak? Stay off my property! Or it’ll be slaughterfest, If this bother bets that HE’S the genre’s best, than call me GRANDFather Death! Try to follow me, I’m topping clean; Swallow fiends like a pot of beans Family recipe! Secret ingredient: The insides of this hollowed teen So ditch the scene ‘fore I leave you bleeding like it’s Halloween! It’s in the title; Homicidal rival will leave you frightful ‘till there’s lots of Screams! This Is Gonna Hurt any Hot Topic bargain, more soft-talking than 100% Cotton, To be left like his sequels; Rotten! Like his T.V. Show; Forgotten! Come to your senses; You’re an infectious insect, and now you’re my breakfast Take advice from the better blood-spreader: Don’t mess with Texas Ghostface: What’s your favorite scary movie? I’ve always been partial to the remakes, So the screens shake when they see blades rip apart that pretty face Just like the first time. Sequels just lose their spirit, well I’m gonna reap for mine! It’s clear that rhymes alone put the fear inside, while you’re here to die No one can save you, I’m gonna slay you and break your chain and saw You’re just a fake too: Ed Gein’s take two that went and ate you raw So pop your own coffin off, Tom, or take caution. I’m always watching, Stalkin’ this concoction of flopping sob stories, Texas Ranger won’t be Walkin’ So listen up for the rules to survive a horror film; Undergo the spill, Rule 1: Don’t hang out in dusty mills and take your tactics from Buffalo Bill Rule 2: Stay on your toes and showcase flow before it’s too late, And the most important rule: Don’t start a roast race with Ghostface. Leatherface: You’re not chilling, you’re Chili; The kind I’d finely grind to sell at a gas stand, Now you’re trapped, man; Wipe your rap dance off the map, there goes your Last Chance! I spit it iller! Your verse was like your recent films; Full of filler! I bring a new game of crude pain like Wu-Tang, so call me the Ghostface Killah! (Leatherface revs up his chainsaw and stabs it through Ghostface's stomach, effectively and brutally killing him. Ghostface falls to the ground, dead. A sinister theme begins playing, as a phone rings. Confused, Leatherface digs the phone out of the deceased Ghostface's costume. As he answers, a voice begins to speak up, as a silhouette appears in the window of the house behind the corpse.) Ghostface: You’re a fool if you really think the villain splits apart in this film! So meet Stu! He just warmed up this retard that I’m gonna kill! So here’s a taste; When we go Face to Face, I’ll erase this foe, The name’s Billy! Ooh, are you surprised? You look like you’ve seen a Ghost See, I’m the mastermind! This bastard pal of mine will merely take the fall While I clash with this cannibal who could barely stand to brawl, I’ll leave him mauled! It isn't lunchtime, tough guy, no will is gonna be left unsigned Getting fucked by dumbfine lines was the one time you’ve worked outside your bloodline Announcer: WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR! Outro Who won? Leatherface Ghostface (Stu/Billy) This is even worse than I thought... off to April 20th, I guess Category:Blog posts